Helpful Tips For Parent Allies.

       
     
     On April 22, 2015 our collective hosted the "Don't Leave Your Sisters Behind" workshop at CalState LA as part of the Mujeres De Maiz 2015 Spring event series. This workshop focused on exploring issues parents and families face and how to find solutions to these issues collectively. For those who were unable to attend this workshop, we are sharing a list of helpful tips that can serve as guide to parents and parent allies. We hope this helps and sparks ideas to create avenues of support for us all...

Thank you to Mujeres de Maiz and to MALCS for all your hard work and aide during this workshop and beyond!

-Ticicalli Yahualli



TIPS FOR PARENT ALLIES

Pregnancy

• Offer help in any way
• Provide Self-Care gifts such as: Massage, Acupuncture, aromatherapy candles and pregnancy-safe teas
• Assist them in raising funds for their labor support (Doula) and/or Midwifery Care
• Check-in: Keep an open line of communication. Ask how they are doing and how you can support them
• Provide positive affirmations about birth

Postpartum

• Help set up a meal train: Drop off warm ready or frozen meals for the family
• Offer to help clean the house
• Hang out with older siblings
• Gift them a massage
• Assist in raising funds for a postpartum doula

• Check in: Again, keep an open line of communication. Ask how they are doing and how you can support them

• Wash your hands before holding the newborn baby. Even though it’s hard to resist, refrain from kissing the baby. If you sick wait until you are better to see the family

Holding Space for Children

• Children play a major role in Society. They are the future generations and everything we model they will be imprinted with
• Babies need to held and loved. Keep a positive environment around the baby
• Understand the developmental milestones for children. Be mindful of where they are in present moment
• All adults in spaces where children are present are responsible for safety and security of children
• Be mindful of what you may be modeling in the presence of children

Parenting

• Be intentional in your parenting journey
• Be aware of different parenting styles. Refrain from judging or shaming other parenting differently
• Be gentle with yourself in your parenting journey
• Seek support when times are tough
• Don’t be afraid to seek community and/or intuitional resources such as parenting classes
• Have fun and enjoy the ride!

 

Purpose

This guide was prepared April 28, 2013 at a Cesarean Awareness Healing Event hosted by Ticicalli Yahualli and created by some members of ICAN, and mothers that had cesareans births.  This was created for community and parents to have more knowledge about cesarean birth, be better prepared and create a support system in order to help the healing process.  I hope it may provide some guidance.

Pre-Conception

1.       Education with of variety of ways and sources.

2.       Knowledge of choices.

3.       Knowledge of models of care.

4.       Understanding your own body (ability to listen to your gut).

5.       Trust and connection to people attending your birth.

6.       Dispell myths of birth.

7.       Choose who you share your birth plan with, not everyone needs to know if they will not support it.

8.       Find ways to address traumas and fears of labor, birth, motherhood, and life. (Therapy, meditation, journaling, etc.)

9.       Scar remediation if necessary.

10.   Educate partner and have him/her address own traumas and fears.

11.   Knowledge of birth process and evidence based reasons for a cesarean birth.

12.   As workers do not push women to places where we cannot deal with.

13.   Always include a cesarean birth plan alongside a vaginal birth plan.

14.   Choose a birth team where everyone has a specific role to fill.

Cesarean Birth

1.       Have Cesarean Birth Plan ready. (Exp. Keep conversations in operating room low or not at all)

2.       Have someone present to support you during the birth.  This person should have knowledge of procedure and possible ways to offer support.

3.       Know and trust C-Birth is going to happen, there are reasons for it and let go.

4.       Have immediate contact with baby after birth.

VBAC

1.       Receive Scar remediation

2.       Get records regarding previous c-birth and the reasons why it was necessary (or not) at that time.

3.       Address traumas and fears

4.       Find a VBAC friendly provider and hospital (ask lots of questions)

5.       Research stats and become literate of medical model (VBACfacts.com)

6.       Educate partner and have him/her address own traumas and fears.

7.       Create a birth plan and discuss with Dr/midwife have them sign it before labor.

8.       Knowledge of birth process and evidence based reason for another c-birth.

Postpartum

1.       Change language-use cesarean birth or surgical birth instead of c-section or sectioned.

2.       Organize care with family and friends such as prepared meals, housework, and childcare if there are other children.

3.       Validate feeling (we are on the journey with you)

4.       Connect mother/family to resources such as ICAN or therapists especially those that specialize in this type of trauma.

5.       Be mindful of stomach being extra gassy use specialized meal plan avoiding gassy foods.

6.       Have extra support ready if choosing to breastfeeding such as breastfeeding pillows or be aware of positions that facilitate breast feeding for you.

7.       Refer to scar remediation.

8.       Give permission to recover at your own pace.

9.       Practice spiritual work and/or rebirth ceremony.

10.   Find ways to modify traditional birth practices to include them in your care such as; baths, teas, massage, closing of hips, etc.

11.   It is okay to have people help you.  Remember that they choose to help, do not feel bad because of this.

12.   Use technology to organize your postpartum care such as; apps, facebook, meal train, etc.