Thursday, March 26, 2015

Reflections on my midwifery journey

Into these Hands. Amy Swagman. 2010.

Just a year ago I started my fundraising campaign to complete the initial tuition fee for my midwifery program. Whoa! Coming up with my tuition from love donations, scholarships and prayers from my family & friends has been such a blessing. A true surreal experience! I am so humbled by all the support & love that my gente has and still to this day provides me. In May 2014, I became officially enrolled at the National College of Midwifery, Class of 2017.

For those who know me intimately know the love, sweat and tears, hard work, community support and prayers it has taken me to get me to where I am today. I didn’t choose midwifery, midwifery chose me. It’s been an ancestral calling that only gets deeper every single moment of my life.  And looking back to 2009 when this journey began manifesting, I now see how it is one of the best journeys that I can ever surrender to.
  I have two more years to go before I can sit for my licensing exam with the Medical board of California. I can only imagine how I will feel when I reach my completion in 2017. I realized that to truly be the midwife that I am called to be, it will take my whole life time. One birth, one family, one healing session at a time, I know I will get there.

Here is what I have learned thus far:

I am so grateful I took my time in choosing a midwifery program. It literally took me years, before I finally found a program that felt right for me. Choosing a midwifery program is like getting married. I consulted with most of the schools in this country. To get more insight information, I talked to different midwives, midwifery students and clients. I crossed referenced, read up on my laws, cost of tuition, etc. I found that the apprenticeship was the closest to the traditional way of learning with the combination of college level academic curriculum.

 There is real power in believing 100% in what your higher self sees.Understanding that the “Universe always provides,” has been a challenging lesson for me. I come from real humble beginnings, always finding ways to make life work for us. Growing up and even on a genetic level, I was imprinted with “we don’t have enough.” I have had to stubbornly heal from this “scarcity mentality.” I would like to thank all my healing arts teachers for this! Because the universe only knows the love and patience they needed to have to hold space for me. So now instead of “ I don’t have enough” or “ I can’t do this because of x,y,z,” I say to myself “ I am doing it” and “ I will find a way to make it happen” or “ All in due time.” Focusing my energy on what I already have and putting in the work to manifest magic with a sprinkle of prayer, I am finding ways to flow with the waves of this midwifery program.
Birth ain’t pretty sometimes! There are some intense issues that can come up in pregnancy, labor, birth & postpartum. I’ve seen some wild stuff. I see how it’s all part of the process. After all, I am training to be a midwife, so that means that need treat & prevent and know when to refer out for medical complications. There was literally a month, where I had a lot of consults for miscarriages. It was the trippiest thing. I’m grateful for having strong counseling skills, because I was able to hold space for them.
My heart goes out to you if you have experienced a loss. May the universe fill you with a lot of love to help you heal and transform. <3

Self-care, Self-care, and more Self-care! I can continue doing this work as long I am healthy, full of vitality and grounded. Otherwise I would be a disservice to myself and the families I am supporting. I am still learning how to balance work and self- care, but I try my hardest to take good care of my-self. I have my rituals that I do before, during and after a birth to keep me grounded and with an open heart. This all helps me to endure the long hours being up without sleep, or even food sometimes. Thank goodness for Self-care.

I can keep going on and on about what I have learned. For now, I am content with what I am sharing with you. Now, I have to go pick up a placenta to encapsulate for a beautiful mama warrior.  Thank you for reading my reflections.